Yesterday was an emotional hiccup, over something that should have been a good thing, I just wasn't seeing the forest through the trees.
Dr. Pedersen told me yesterday that they were thinking about making me an outpatient, and the first thoughts that went through my mind were of all the horrible things that happened to me the last time, then I got to thinking that 90% of all those horrible things happened in the first two weeks, and was starting to feel better until I started talking to everyone else.
The worries and misgivings of my close family has made them anxious and overprotective, which I can understand, but did not help with my own emotional stability, so I had a breakdown, ate a candy bar, and gladly accepted an insulin shot. Once I really started to think about last time, and what helped me pull through when it got too hard to go on, and reminded myself that I'm 29 years old, and I make my own decisions either way, based on my own feelings and not those of other people, I'm ready to move on.
I don't expect a lot of visitors today if any and so will probably have to do fifty laps around the nurse's station instead of the usual twenty. :) My pajamas need washing though so I'll be sporting the scrubs, which is okay, but the top goes too high and isn't stretchy enough for a line, so it all has to come out my armpit. :p Lets just face it, the gowns were made for surgery and pokes, not for central lines.
Thank you all for responding to my needs if I am still able to return home, and helping out my little family. A special thanks to Heather, who has been an excellent mommy #2 while I'm away, and an awesome support.
Counts
WBC=1.5
HCT=27.6
PLT= 69
The hardest part about making your own decisions is deciding you can make them. Something about refusing advice from those that are closest to us makes this a tough hill to climb. The hardest part for me was finding a good middle ground after I came to this realization, where I could accept advice, yet still make my own informed decision. Of course, I have a rebellious Clyde/Laurie temperament to deal with lol.
ReplyDeletePS, do we need a few pairs of comfortable pajamas? Get us a make and model here, it's not a cadillac ;)
Lots of love, Colt.
size 18, no pastels. :) Wait, was that a description for pajamas or my caddy?
ReplyDeleteI love you too Clyarie... I mean Colt! ;)
Hahahahahaaaaa you crack me up! Your dad put me to work today building cabinets for the business, I repaid about one tenth of the manual labor I used when your mom and dad helped me with the back yard!
ReplyDelete